Google Boy, to the rescue!
Thought no one was brave enough to take a stand against the prying eyes of the federal government? You’re wrong. Meet Google Boy, the teen-aged superhero in tights with a blue, red, yellow and green "G" stitched across the chest. He was more shaped by events than born into this world like you or me. Sure, he had a mother, a father, and they guided his personality to some degree. But their influence disappeared the day a speck of radiated plutonium, released accidentally from a lab near his job, settled into Google Boy's eye. By the next morning, he could see everything. Google Boy puts his eye to work squeezing cash out of the advertising business. After hours, a desperate need to do away with evil takes over. After 10 minutes of conversation with the boy you'd realize he’s never had a world-ending failure to reconcile and rebound from. So he’s never really learned those valuable survival lessons. You have to respect what he’s done, who wouldn’t? 400 million customers, $12 billion or so in annual revenues? But at the same time, you want to grind his face with your fingers, just a little bit so he finally realizes what it’s like to feel a little pain. As you can imagine, by now there are hordes of Google Boy villains trying to send the world crashing down on him. Danger lurks in his latest steel cage match. Of all the villains so far, none have been able to truly exploit Google Boy’s secret weakness. You see, all his powers are tied directly to the fact that Google search users willingly give up loads of personal information in order to use Google features. With all that info, Google can market advertisers’ products better and make more money. Google users don’t really mind the one-way exchange, because to date there’s never really been any consequence worse than a few unwanted marketing emails. But the DOJ is, in a backhanded way, creating a consequence to using Google so freely, a rather big one. Who would want their search habits under a federal government microscope? Kind of cools the whole notion of “Googling” doesn’t it? A rather bold, brilliant tactic, eh? Let’s hope Google Boy has an equally stellar move in response. |
Comments (54)
I am so proud of Google. Too many spineless companies roll over when the government asks for information that they are NOT legally entitled to. If the people are going to continue to live in a democracy and not a dictatorship, the government must be forced to follow the laws.
Posted by Bill | January 23, 2006 3:11 PM
Thanks goodness for Google Boy! We need a hero! Save Us!! Seriuosly, we need comanies to stand up and protect the rights and information of users. The government is not entilted to this information, for that matter a lot of information. With th current administration in power nothing can be trusted, and our rights and privacy are slowly and surely being stripped away from us. The crazy thing is, so many people knowingly support this...Go figure?!
Posted by Ben | January 23, 2006 3:17 PM
Shame on Microsoft and on Yahoo !!!! I can't believe they turned over information to the government. Cudos to Google, finally somebody stands up to the anti democratic forces (i.e. GWB Government).
Posted by gss | January 23, 2006 3:17 PM
It's refreshing to see a ZD editorial recognizing the government for the intrusive "villianous" entity that it is, and not some benevolent overseer that will ever reward ANY industry for ceding "just a little bit" of control to it. -jjg
Posted by J. Gravelle | January 23, 2006 3:21 PM
I have no problem at all with wiretaps on suspected terrorist communications. Osama and his murdering minions are the enemy - not our government (although, in this instance, the Feds are way off-task). What I object to is the wastefulness and stupidity of our government trying to coerce a corporation to spend its time and resources on a fishing expedition to provide huge volumes of information that is not directly linked to a specific crime or terrorist threat - then wasting my tax dollars on trying to figure out what, if anything, it means. Feds: Get to work locking down the borders, and leave Google alone!
Posted by Silver | January 23, 2006 4:12 PM
Holy Kryptonite Google-Boy, don't open that subpoena! Don't reveal the secret of your power! We trust your solemn pledge: "Don't be evil"! That pledge let's me sleep at night, knowing that all of my personal information is safe in your not-evil corporate hands. We sure can't trust that "go ahead and be evil" Government we elected! But Google-Boy, you're not really on the side of the child pornographers, right? I'm pretty sure they're "being evil".
Posted by MattBoy | January 23, 2006 4:44 PM
Go Google-Boy - Shame on you Bush Baby... Keep up the good fight.
Posted by Jeffrey | January 23, 2006 5:12 PM
If Google-Boy is so brave, why was he surrended to Chinese government's demand? Dare not fight a dog, it fights with a rooster. That what Google-Boy is.
Posted by ChineseGirl | January 23, 2006 8:52 PM
... Google Boy is soon seen carried away but a dozen guys dressed in dark colored suits. Google Boy what is going on? "I'm being taken into costody by Big Brother! They mentioned something about going to Guantánamo Bay!". Soon we see the masses erasing their "Free Kevin" signed and writing in "Free Google Boy", the websites and song writing begins. Soon we are flamed from all angles on Google Boy, T-Shirts, Blogs, e-mails, newpapers, sky writting, corporations make another mil on it. Yet Google Boy still remains missing for another decade...
Posted by Full Time Slacker | January 24, 2006 3:05 AM
Thank you Google for your willingness to "just say no" to the GWB regime and its willingness to grind its way through our rights. This fear mongering administration needs to be stopped and hopefully you have awakened a corporate conscience in this country, without which, individual rights will soon disappear entirely. Corporate America must learn that it is the consumer they must serve and not the GWB regime. Thank you Google.
Posted by Inter Actions | January 24, 2006 7:57 AM
Have to love Google Boy - Just Say No. I just don’t get it. There is NO reason they can possibly give to justify a legal demand for those records in this matter. Besides that, apparently the Washington pin heads still simply don't understand - the internet is global and their poor constituents that still think a mouse is a foot pedal will still not be protecting their "innocent" kids. What on earth are they thinking? All the "businesses" need to do is go off shore (totally including their operations) - like every major corporation already has - to avoid compliance with any "law" they might pass. There are plenty of enablers out there for their kids to get access around any law they might come up with... Ignorance still must be bliss. Parents simply need to learn how to use a computer and MONITOR their children – oh wait that isn’t reasonable…
Posted by tERminal | January 24, 2006 9:25 AM
I have a whole new respect for Google now. I can't give them a big enough pat on the back or moral support. As is usual, I see this latest attempt by Bush and his thugs as just another avenue in which to illegally spy on American citizens. When is it going to end? When more companies like Google stand up and say 'I'm mad as hell, and I'm not going to take it anymore.' Thanks, Google, for having the decency to take a stand against an out of control, anti-freedom President and government. Google may very well turn out to be the stumbling block to Bush and his lackeys, that keeps us from losing all of our rights and civil liberties.
Posted by fablesofthewest | January 26, 2006 4:36 AM
Our caped crusader is missing when it comes to click fraud.
Posted by Google Watch | March 8, 2006 10:20 PM
Our caped crusader is missing when it comes to click fraud.
Posted by Google Watch | March 8, 2006 10:28 PM
Our caped crusader is missing when it comes to click fraud.
Posted by Google Watch | March 8, 2006 10:31 PM
Our caped crusader is missing when it comes to click fraud.
Posted by Google Watch | March 9, 2006 8:49 PM
Our caped crusader is missing when it comes to click fraud.
Posted by Google Watch | March 9, 2006 8:50 PM
Our caped crusader is missing when it comes to click fraud.
Posted by Google Watch | March 22, 2006 4:39 PM
Potentially a lot of Googling is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 3:20 AM
Potentially a lot of Googling is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 3:31 AM
it's all economics when you get right down to it. i can't believe the number of people that don't see this. web companies like google and yahoo and microsoft don't bat an eye when the chi-coms ask them to turn over information. it's greed that's running these companies. why would you do something that negatively affects your bottom line. if they refuse requests by the chinese government, they risk being kicked out of the country. the true genius of being able to stand up to the federal government in the united states is that you actually can without fear of having to close your doors.
Posted by nick | May 18, 2006 9:06 AM
Potentially a lot of Googling is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 10:12 AM
Potentially a lot of Googling is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 10:13 AM
Potentially a lot of Googling is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 10:16 AM
Potentially a lot of Googling is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 10:17 AM
Potentially a lot of Googling is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 10:18 AM
Potentially a lot of Googling is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 10:19 AM
Potentially a lot of Googling is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 10:20 AM
Potentially a lot of Googling is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 10:37 AM
Potentially a lot of Googling is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 10:41 AM
Potentially a lot of Googling is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 11:24 AM
Potentially a lot of Googling is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 11:26 AM
Potentially a lot of Googling is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 11:30 AM
Potentially a lot of Googling is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 11:31 AM
Potentially a lot of Googling is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 11:33 AM
Potentially a lot of Googling is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 11:37 AM
Potentially a lot of Googling and other 'Net activity is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 11:42 AM
Potentially a lot of Googling and other 'Net activity is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 12:25 PM
Potentially a lot of Googling and other 'Net activity is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 12:25 PM
Potentially a lot of Googling and other 'Net activity is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 12:25 PM
Potentially a lot of Googling and other 'Net activity is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 12:27 PM
Potentially a lot of Googling and other 'Net activity is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 12:34 PM
Potentially a lot of Googling and other 'Net activity is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 12:35 PM
Potentially a lot of Googling and other 'Net activity is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 12:39 PM
Potentially a lot of Googling and other 'Net activity is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 1:02 PM
Potentially a lot of Googling and other 'Net activity is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 1:02 PM
Potentially a lot of Googling and other 'Net activity is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 1:06 PM
Potentially a lot of Googling and other 'Net activity is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 2:00 PM
Potentially a lot of Googling and other 'Net activity is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 2:02 PM
Potentially a lot of Googling and other 'Net activity is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 2:20 PM
Potentially a lot of Googling and other 'Net activity is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 2:51 PM
Potentially a lot of Googling and other 'Net activity is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 2:57 PM
Potentially a lot of Googling and other 'Net activity is being captured at the NSA's supposed "secret rooms" in AT&T buildings.
Posted by Google Watch | May 18, 2006 3:07 PM
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